Values & Needs

One’s values and needs are powerful motivations.

Values, along with beliefs, create behaviour. Values are not something you are born with -- they are gained over time, experiences, and beliefs. For example, when you were a kid, your mother always told you that you have to study hard and enter good schools, again and again. This became a value and you lived with it, whether consciously or unconsciously. When examinations are approaching, you remember that value and feel the need to study in preparation for the papers. Your emotions may disagree with you and choose to do something else instead, but you will feel guilty without fail, because your values tell you otherwise. This is how powerful values are. They keep you in control, telling you what is good, what is beneficial, what is important, what is wrong, etc. They greatly affect what actions you will take.

Needs also play a part in creating behaviour. Needs are personal, and they are usually attained naturally without having anyone to tell you or remind you. A need can be physical, such as food or water, or it can be psychological, such as self-respect or stability. If one’s needs are not met, there would definitely be a negative outcome. For example, if you are famished, you feel the need to eat, and this motivates you to get up, walk to that fridge, and grab some food. It can even be food that you do not usually eat, but since you desperately need it lest your survival is at stake, you will eat it anyway. This is how powerful needs are. Needs are able to overshadow your emotions and therefore greatly affect your actions.

But which is the more powerful, values or needs? In my opinion, it depends on the individual. For example, if you are famished, but the only food available is across a burning pit in which you have to jump to reach it, will you risk your life and jump over, or will you refrain from jumping and think of other ways to get food? An Olympic high-jumper, for instance, will probably choose to jump over the pit because he knows he could do it even though he knows it is dangerous and still holds a risk. That, or he is just an ordinary salaryman with a great confidence. In this case, his needs overshadow his values. On the other hand, the average salaryman may not want to jump over because he knows he is incapable of such a feat, and that he will fall into the pit and die if he tries. That, or he is just an Olympic high-jumper with no confidence. In this case, his values overshadow his needs. How these people allow their values/needs to overshadow their needs/values depend on their beliefs; the way they have been brought up. Therefore, different people have different values and needs.

How do one’s values and needs affect one’s communication? Communication, in my belief, is the way one expresses his or her thoughts, and in short, a behaviour. Earlier, I have addressed how values and needs affect one’s behaviour. For example, you would most likely refrain from telling your best friend that you dislike something about him/her because you do not want him/her to feel hurt or to jeopardise your friendship. In this case, you are favouring your values. However, if that something you dislike of your best friend begins to cause serious problems, you feel the need to tell your friend about it with a good intention, although you may risk jeopardising the friendship. In this case, you are favouring your needs.
Values and needs are motivators that affect how, why, when, where, what, and who to communicate.